I have been trying to figure out a way to stay calm and not be stressed out around the kids when they start fussing. During this time I find myself getting all worked up and anxious around them. There are times (more frequently lately) where the slightest little whine sends chills down my back because I know what’s coming. We wrote about some of our experiences in the blog Surviving Terrible Twos (Times Two). I have been doing some reading about the terrible twos with twins and have found that lots of people have the same struggles as we have. There are more resources than I realized that will give me some idea about how to handle this.
When Annika was this age I remember focusing on staying calm, trying to keep a smile on my face, and keep a sense of humour. I need to challenge myself to this over the next few days and see how I do. I will start out one day at a time with small things.
- Let things roll off my back and not let them effect me emotionally. It is hard I know but I have to try. I was telling a friend that having two emotional crying two year olds around you is like having someone yell at you all day. It’s hard to take. I know that when I was working if there was a boss around that was constantly bickering and yelling at everyone all day, all I wanted to do was get out of there. It is hard to stay positive when the people around you have negative reactions to everything. I have to learn not to take the kids constant emotional swings personally.
- Stay calm. I can see that when I let the twins get to me and I get frustrated it has a snowball effect and it only makes things worse. The times where I stay calm and positive the drama seems to end sooner.
- Keep a smile on my face as much as I can. I can’t walk around all day like that or people would think I’m a little crazy but just having the feeling that I’m smiling on the inside helps me to stay positive and in control.
- Keep a sense of humour. I don’t want my kids to feel like I’m laughing at them but some of the things they do during their tantrums are pretty funny. I will be going to their aid if they really need me but if it’s just a ploy for attention I can let the tantrums run their course. I want them to feel like they can come to me if they need something to, so there is a fine line that I have to find. I feel like now we are jumping to their every whim just to eliviate the chaos but it is not working.
- Remind myself what I am thankful for. We didn’t think we could have kids as we talked about in the article “Our Struggles With Infertility”. There are times when it feels like this is too much to handle but would I really rather go back to the days without kids? Not a chance.
- Keep telling myself “This is just a phase and they will grow out of it.” Then there will be new phases for us to handle.
I wrote this to get my thoughts out and to help me understand these tough times. Maybe this will help other Mom’s of twins as well, mainly to know that they are not the only ones who have to go through difficult times with emotional kids.